Each day karate practice was getting to be more and more stressful for mom as she nagged, prodded and worried that her son would be late. Her son didn't really seem to care if he was on time but it pained her to think he would have to sit on the sidelines if he was late so SHE made sure he was on time.
After a few parenting lessons, mom finally decided to use some of her new skills to help this situation not be HER problem anymore. The next day after school she decided to have "A TALK" with him. First, she told him she was sorry for nagging him and being his time monitor. She sweetly said being ready and on time was his job and she had forgotten that. Would he forgive her? He was pretty amazed but thought he could do that. Then, she said that she would be happy to take him to karate anytime he was ready, just let her know when. Then she went back to work on her stack of papers that she was grading.
Life was calm and beautiful. Then her son came running in. "Mom! It's 4:50! We're late! karate starts in 10 minutes!" "Oh dear, that is soooo sad", she said VERY empathetically. She held her tongue with from saying what she used to say and instead said: "Let me get my keys."
As she drove at normal speed to the practice she felt calm and powerful. During this drive it was her SON who was stressing and worried. YES! It wasn't her problem, it was HIS! He hung his head as he was told to sit on the sidelines by his coach since he was 5 minutes late.
She didn't say anything at the end of practice. Just an empathetic glance or two as they drove home.
The next day was practice again. Her son decided set a timer for himself so he wouldn't lose track of time and be late. He's been on time now for 2 weeks straight.
After a few parenting lessons, mom finally decided to use some of her new skills to help this situation not be HER problem anymore. The next day after school she decided to have "A TALK" with him. First, she told him she was sorry for nagging him and being his time monitor. She sweetly said being ready and on time was his job and she had forgotten that. Would he forgive her? He was pretty amazed but thought he could do that. Then, she said that she would be happy to take him to karate anytime he was ready, just let her know when. Then she went back to work on her stack of papers that she was grading.
Life was calm and beautiful. Then her son came running in. "Mom! It's 4:50! We're late! karate starts in 10 minutes!" "Oh dear, that is soooo sad", she said VERY empathetically. She held her tongue with from saying what she used to say and instead said: "Let me get my keys."
As she drove at normal speed to the practice she felt calm and powerful. During this drive it was her SON who was stressing and worried. YES! It wasn't her problem, it was HIS! He hung his head as he was told to sit on the sidelines by his coach since he was 5 minutes late.
She didn't say anything at the end of practice. Just an empathetic glance or two as they drove home.
The next day was practice again. Her son decided set a timer for himself so he wouldn't lose track of time and be late. He's been on time now for 2 weeks straight.